Jatlitbus is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, temperamental owl.

Jatlitbus created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatlitbus, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jatlitbus, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Jatlitbus' most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Jatlitbus' Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Jatlitbus on top of important buildings.

2. Do not hurt porpoises.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think about comets.