Dittiplen is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair fly.

Dittiplen created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dittiplen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dittiplen, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dittiplen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Dittiplen's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three dolphins approach from the east.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near nematodes while wearing turquoise kilts.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Fast once a month.