Tonksagvan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, sage rhinoceros.

Tonksagvan created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonksagvan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tonksagvan, he will come to you in dreams.

Tonksagvan's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tonksagvan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always help sick pigs.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.