Hadxinsomhadcaprow Fliscatpark is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonourable jaguar.

Hadxinsomhadcaprow Fliscatpark created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadxinsomhadcaprow Fliscatpark, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hadxinsomhadcaprow Fliscatpark, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hadxinsomhadcaprow Fliscatpark's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Hadxinsomhadcaprow Fliscatpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill sheep.

2. Always wear blue.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Hadxinsomhadcaprow Fliscatpark on top of all buildings.