Stigkiktif is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, selfish tapir.

Stigkiktif created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigkiktif, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stigkiktif, he will manifest in front of you.

Stigkiktif's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Stigkiktif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never write about bacteria.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Stigkiktif.