Ortcatlit Bonkbenvig is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, temperamental hyena.

Ortcatlit Bonkbenvig created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortcatlit Bonkbenvig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ortcatlit Bonkbenvig, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Ortcatlit Bonkbenvig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Ortcatlit Bonkbenvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Feed all hungry ants.