Loopmetcutomt is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, almighty slug.

Loopmetcutomt created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopmetcutomt, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Loopmetcutomt, it will turn you into a snail.

Loopmetcutomt's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Loopmetcutomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never chant near badgers.

5. Never pour water over plants.