Pakfubbad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unselfish octopus.

Pakfubbad created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakfubbad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pakfubbad, she will turn you into a dog.

Pakfubbad's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Pakfubbad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Pakfubbad on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about black holes.