Camnabcap Yarnegdub is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered slug.

Camnabcap Yarnegdub created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Camnabcap Yarnegdub, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Camnabcap Yarnegdub, it will turn you into a rock.

Camnabcap Yarnegdub's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Camnabcap Yarnegdub's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. You must never eat cucumbers.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.