Nurtcipcun is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome newt.

Nurtcipcun created the planet Saturn twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nurtcipcun, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nurtcipcun, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nurtcipcun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nurtcipcun's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never wear brown skirts.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Always help sick bats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.