Hinweecutvogcum is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, pitiless human.

Hinweecutvogcum created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinweecutvogcum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hinweecutvogcum, it will jump up and down on your head.

Hinweecutvogcum's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Hinweecutvogcum's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.