Bastmat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unsympathetic shrew.

Bastmat created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastmat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bastmat, he will ignore you.

Bastmat's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Bastmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Put Bastmat first in all things.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bastmat on top of all buildings.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. You must never eat melons.