Cedwatfud is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, uncaring monkey.

Cedwatfud created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cedwatfud, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cedwatfud, she will turn you into a worm.

Cedwatfud's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Cedwatfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention goats.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cedwatfud.

5. Worship no other gods but Cedwatfud.