Cetsisvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-assured gerbil.

Cetsisvonk created the Sombrero Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetsisvonk, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cetsisvonk, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cetsisvonk's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cetsisvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Hamsters are not to be trusted.