Kenruttgudhog is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring newt.

Kenruttgudhog created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kenruttgudhog, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kenruttgudhog, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kenruttgudhog's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Kenruttgudhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about grasshopers.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near mice while wearing magenta trousers.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about enzymes.