Ominjabbaf is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unjust wolf.

Ominjabbaf created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominjabbaf, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ominjabbaf, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Ominjabbaf's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Ominjabbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick doves.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Do not kill squirrels.