Hanbellbed is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent dryad.

Hanbellbed created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanbellbed, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hanbellbed, he will turn you into a dog.

Hanbellbed's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Hanbellbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hanbellbed.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.