Funditbed Spagcissjon Fotfobvigsabbid is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, thoughtless cobra.

Funditbed Spagcissjon Fotfobvigsabbid created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Funditbed Spagcissjon Fotfobvigsabbid, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Funditbed Spagcissjon Fotfobvigsabbid, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Funditbed Spagcissjon Fotfobvigsabbid's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Funditbed Spagcissjon Fotfobvigsabbid's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Funditbed Spagcissjon Fotfobvigsabbid on top of all buildings.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Funditbed Spagcissjon Fotfobvigsabbid loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

5. Funditbed Spagcissjon Fotfobvigsabbid must be the most important thing in your life.