Dadkabmad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, self-assured faun.

Dadkabmad created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dadkabmad, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dadkabmad, he will turn you into a rock.

Dadkabmad's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Dadkabmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt ducks.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never feed strawberries to dogs while wearing purple dresses.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.