Gatfeb Hogxuckgepvinbudrow is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, flying pigeon.

Gatfeb Hogxuckgepvinbudrow created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gatfeb Hogxuckgepvinbudrow, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gatfeb Hogxuckgepvinbudrow, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gatfeb Hogxuckgepvinbudrow's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gatfeb Hogxuckgepvinbudrow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Gatfeb Hogxuckgepvinbudrow must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gatfeb Hogxuckgepvinbudrow.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Never talk about dark energy.