Jarngod is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, ill-tempered slug.

Jarngod created the Sunflower Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarngod, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jarngod, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Jarngod's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Jarngod's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Never talk about dark energy near tapirs while wearing cyan shirts and balancing five silicon spheres on your arms.

4. Never hurt geese.

5. Worship no other gods but Jarngod.