Arpfossfid Lakponmet is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, able squirrel.

Arpfossfid Lakponmet created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Arpfossfid Lakponmet, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Arpfossfid Lakponmet, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Arpfossfid Lakponmet's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Arpfossfid Lakponmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never pour water over plants.