Fabgepsand is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witty dog.

Fabgepsand created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fabgepsand, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fabgepsand, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fabgepsand's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fabgepsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Learn six new languages a year.