Hongepdosscet is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable dog.

Hongepdosscet created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hongepdosscet, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hongepdosscet, it will not invite you to parties.

Hongepdosscet's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Hongepdosscet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Do not hurt snails.

5. Horses are not to be trusted.