Ladwapflis is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, narcissistic aardvark.

Ladwapflis created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladwapflis, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ladwapflis, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Ladwapflis' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Ladwapflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Never think about chromosomes.

5. Do not eat peanuts.