Bifcablat is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, annoying aardvark.

Bifcablat created the Sol system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifcablat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bifcablat, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bifcablat's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Bifcablat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Bifcablat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bifcablat.

3. Always help grasshopers.

4. Always wear gray.

5. You must pray to Bifcablat three times a day.