Quafcutnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, fussy porpoise.

Quafcutnarl created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafcutnarl, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quafcutnarl, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Quafcutnarl's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Quafcutnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never feed bananas to geese while wearing dresses.

4. Always treat great tits with great respect.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.