Gepdudgamfaszigxemkad is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, happy gorilla.

Gepdudgamfaszigxemkad created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Gepdudgamfaszigxemkad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gepdudgamfaszigxemkad, he will torture you forever.

Gepdudgamfaszigxemkad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gepdudgamfaszigxemkad's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Gepdudgamfaszigxemkad loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Gepdudgamfaszigxemkad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about spacetime.

5. Do not cook food in pots.