Targkennulflapabpitnellyam is a god.

It takes the form of a small, ruthless penguin.

Targkennulflapabpitnellyam created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targkennulflapabpitnellyam, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Targkennulflapabpitnellyam, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Targkennulflapabpitnellyam's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Targkennulflapabpitnellyam's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Targkennulflapabpitnellyam's priests.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not shave your arms.