Matgebhap is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unsympathetic gerbil.

Matgebhap created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matgebhap, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Matgebhap, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Matgebhap's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Matgebhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Do not take Matgebhap's name in vain.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.