Armdussbest Cibtagfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, self-assured squid.

Armdussbest Cibtagfarn created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Armdussbest Cibtagfarn, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Armdussbest Cibtagfarn, he will manifest in front of you.

Armdussbest Cibtagfarn's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Armdussbest Cibtagfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never feed wheat to sharks while wearing turquoise tights.

4. Never write about quantum mechanics.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.