Litwee is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unthoughtful beaver.

Litwee created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Litwee, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Litwee, it will turn you into a hamster.

Litwee's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Litwee's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.