Omtnabster is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, annoying gorilla.

Omtnabster created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtnabster, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Omtnabster, it will torture you forever.

Omtnabster's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Omtnabster's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always help manatees in need.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

5. Learn three new languages a year.