Largjigmip is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-assured aardvark.

Largjigmip created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largjigmip, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Largjigmip, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Largjigmip's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Largjigmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near sheep while wearing green ear rings and balancing eight zinc spheres on your head.

2. Never talk about dolphins.

3. Run away if nine badgers approach from the east.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Largjigmip in the centre of the settlement.

5. Worship no other gods but Largjigmip.