Bonknadvanyog Rutziglarpnell Flannarnill is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, cheerful turtle.

Bonknadvanyog Rutziglarpnell Flannarnill created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonknadvanyog Rutziglarpnell Flannarnill, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonknadvanyog Rutziglarpnell Flannarnill, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bonknadvanyog Rutziglarpnell Flannarnill's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bonknadvanyog Rutziglarpnell Flannarnill's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. You must pray to Bonknadvanyog Rutziglarpnell Flannarnill six times a day.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near mice while wearing purple skirts and balancing eight tin spheres on your back.