Flapfumspagcub is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unsympathetic hedgehog.

Flapfumspagcub created an atom eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapfumspagcub, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flapfumspagcub, she will laugh at you.

Flapfumspagcub's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Flapfumspagcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near porpoises while wearing white stockings and balancing six platinum spheres on your feet.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Flapfumspagcub loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not keep five birds in a large pit.