Bonkkik is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonest dugong.

Bonkkik created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkkik, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bonkkik, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bonkkik's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bonkkik's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Never feed beans to manatees while wearing shorts.