Gatkikgum is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, strong shrew.

Gatkikgum created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatkikgum, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gatkikgum, it will try to impress you with trees.

Gatkikgum's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gatkikgum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

3. Never wear mauve skirts.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.