Fobmumman is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, selfish dove.

Fobmumman created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fobmumman, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fobmumman, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fobmumman's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Fobmumman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Always take life seriously.