Fomflammil is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent bear.

Fomflammil created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fomflammil, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fomflammil, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Fomflammil's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Fomflammil's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Run away if three turtles approach from the west.

3. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Always wear green.