Fubkabstikzod is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, irritating crow.

Fubkabstikzod created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubkabstikzod, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fubkabstikzod, he will turn you into a goat.

Fubkabstikzod's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Fubkabstikzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Hide from mauve seals for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Always help turtles.

5. Never hurt squirrels.