Wapgompon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, contented jaguar.

Wapgompon created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapgompon, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wapgompon, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Wapgompon's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Wapgompon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick otters.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never hurt pigs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.