Ominlinrig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, uncaring seal.

Ominlinrig created Mount Everest four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominlinrig, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ominlinrig, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Ominlinrig's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Ominlinrig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Always stare at clouds.