Catnakkon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, happy mongoose.

Catnakkon created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Catnakkon, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Catnakkon, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Catnakkon's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Catnakkon's Holy Commandments

1. Snakes are not to be trusted.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Hide from violet sharks for they are unholy.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Catnakkon on top of all buildings.