Mitjonkip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent hedgehog.

Mitjonkip created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitjonkip, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Mitjonkip, it will turn you into a rock.

Mitjonkip's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Mitjonkip's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink bats for they are unholy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must love Mitjonkip.

4. Never talk about birds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.