Armfebmad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, cheerful hippopotamus.

Armfebmad created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Armfebmad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Armfebmad, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Armfebmad's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Armfebmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about rice.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Never feed lots of lentils to rats while wearing gray shorts.