Listpogjig is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, contented toad.

Listpogjig created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Listpogjig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Listpogjig, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Listpogjig's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Listpogjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to swans while wearing magenta shoes.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near sheep while wearing red jumpers and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your neck.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.