Dosshomfig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent salamander.

Dosshomfig created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosshomfig, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dosshomfig, it will turn you into a sheep.

Dosshomfig's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Dosshomfig's Holy Commandments

1. Dosshomfig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always treat mice with great respect.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.