Lamtargflam is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, capable monkey.

Lamtargflam created the Tadpole Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamtargflam, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lamtargflam, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Lamtargflam's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Lamtargflam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never feed lots of figs to gulls while wearing purple boots.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always treat goats with great respect.