Larpragyak is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unfair narwhal.

Larpragyak created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpragyak, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larpragyak, he will refuse to believe in you.

Larpragyak's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Larpragyak's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Never think about solid mechanics.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not kill snakes.